Changes
by The Essential Word
Summary: Aria is growing up, a fact that leads Kyle to have to talk to his daughter about the wonders of love and boys. Short series of drabbles meant only to amuse.
1. Boys!

This is just a one-shot drabble. It's nothing serious and is simply meant to be amusing. I'll probably end up writing a longer RF2 story set in second generation with Aria. Please, enjoy and review so I know what you think.

Disclaimer: I don't own Rune Factory 2 or Harvest Moon.

XXXX

With the morning sun rising, Aria got up from bed, yawned, and made her way to the dresser. She put on the first thing she grabbed and, racing out of the room, nearly ran into her mother.

"Aria, slow down! You'll trip!" Cecilia said. Aria noticed her mother was balancing a basket full of clothes on her hip. It must have been laundry day again.

"Oh, mom. Hi!" She smiled.

"You look adorable this morning. But don't forget to brush your hair…or teeth! And straighten out your clothes."

"Huh? My clothes are straight."

Cecilia shook her head, sighing. "I swear, Aria. You need to pay attention to these little details." With that, she set the basket down, and proceeded to make the proper adjustments to Aria's clothing.

When she was done, she stepped back and said something Aria didn't quite understand. "You can't run around in that shirt anymore."

She blinked. "Why?"

"It's—it's all a part of growing up. Oh, dear. It's happened so fast."

"What?"

"You've grown so much…"

"Yeah?"

"I mean, you've…developed. Don't worry, it happens to us all! I mean, not men, but all women. Why, you're simply a young woman, and young women do grow. I suppose it was about time." From Cecilia's expression, one could tell this was the last thing she wanted to be dealing with.

"Yeah, but what does that have to do with this shirt?"

"Nothing really. It has more to do with you."

"Mom, you're scaring me. What are you talking about?"

"You've developed breasts."

"… …oh. Okay. Um." Aria was blushing insanely. She had somewhat noticed recently that her shirt didn't fit the same way it used to, and how she had been feeling a little off-balance. She had been tripping really easily lately and whenever she picked up her sword, she had found herself swinging it differently…but she had simply brushed it off as nothing.

"We'll have to get you something for them. For now, I think we can get away with tying a cloth around your chest…but, dear oh dear, you're so athletic you'd accidentally slip out of it. That's no good. But it will have to do for now until I can get you something better."

"Yeah…"

"Don't be embarrassed! It's no big deal. It's just another step to becoming a woman!"

From the other room came Kyle, still in his pajamas. "What is?" He asked.

"Nothing, dear! Nothing at all. It's just our little baby girl is growing up. It just seems like yesterday that I was holding her in my arms. Don't you remember? But now she's so big and grown up! It almost makes me sad."

"Well," he said. "She _is_ fifteen. But what, specifically, brought all this on, Ceci?"

Aria, embarrassed, ran back into her room, shutting the door firmly behind her. She had been taught about these things, but she never really paid much attention. It almost seemed as if it would never matter to her. Why, all the other girls had developed so much faster than her that it seemed as if she was going to stay as flat as a board for the rest of her life, which was just fine by her. She didn't need that sort of thing. All she wanted to do with her life was to be able to keep cultivating the land, or befriending wild beasts and raising tiny seeds so that they became something bigger and stronger. She loved the dirt, the earth, nature and every creature in it.

She didn't love this at all.

There was a knock on the door.

"Yes?" She said hesitantly.

"Let me in," her mother said.

With a sigh, she drew open the door.

"Here you go, honey." She handed Aria a long strip of cloth.

"I think I'm going to die."

"But this is a happy day! You're finally becoming a woman."

"And I wasn't a woman before? I don't need this, okay?! It's scaring me."

"It's inevitable. It had to happen sooner or later. I assumed it would happen earlier than this…it did for me…but you're just a late-bloomer!"

"How can you be so nonchalant? This is the single weirdest thing ever!"

"You'll get used to it. It's just new to you now." Then she kissed her forehead, and left to go downstairs.

When Aria finally managed to drag herself downstairs, she saw her father there, his clothes already filthy from working in the fields. He smiled as she sat at the table.

"Morning," he said.

"Morning."

He set a plate of eggs in front of her.

"Thanks. Where's mom?"

"She's out visiting Alicia and Mana."

"Oh."

He sat down across from her. "So…Aria, is there…anything you want to talk about?"

She blushed again and swallowed her eggs. "Um…nope! Everything's fine."

"Do you…have any questions?"

"What did mom tell you?!"

He sighed. "I was really hoping we could hold off on this conversation for a few years. Or never. Look, we've never really had any need to talk about this before, but your mother insisted so…" He made a face. "So here we are. You do know it's at this point that boys are going to become interested in you, don't you?"

"Boys don't pay me any attention."

"Oh god, but they will."

"I'm not…but I'm not, you know, pretty enough! I'm not pretty like Leann or Sera or anyone!"  
"What are you talking about? Of course you are. You know how pretty your mother is? Did you know you look just like her? And what about me? You have a lot of me in you too. No, looks are something you never have to worry about."

"You…mean that?"

"You have good genetics."

"Then how come all the boys ignore me?"

"Nobody ignores you, and as far as boys go, that's coming. Believe me. And you need to be ready."

"I mean, I have a few male friends…"

"Exactly. And you need to be cautious of them. Especially be wary if a boy finds out your favorite thing and then proceeds to give it to you as often as possible, or invites you and all the other girls to watch the flowers, stars, etcetra or talks to you everyday, or does everything you say, even if that includes finding a tiny locket somewhere in the wilderness or fighting off your less-than-polite suitor. Matter-of-fact, be wary of racist half-elves! They'll make difficult rivals for any boy who wants you…not that you should let any boys want you. Because, you see, boys are…just be careful! Also be wary of boys who talk and do things for you and seven other girls…Also be cautious of boys who watch the request board like a hawk and immediately do whatever request you have posted. Because they're interested in you."

"Bud don't I want them interested in me?"

"Well, perhaps _you_ do, but—but you need to be careful because they don't always have you're best interest at heart. They can be selfish bastards who are just giving you gifts for the hell of it…that and all seven other girls."

"Um, okay, dad. Thanks for the talk. I feel…enlightened."

"You're welcome," he said, hoping he'd never have to bring up any of this ever again for as long as he lived.

She ran out the front door.

Kyle simply sat and sipped some tea until there was a knock on the door, so he answered it.

"Hello, sir, is Aria here?"

Kyle stared down numbly. In the boy's hands was an apple, which was Aria's favorite thing. In his other hand, he held a locket. It was a locket Aria had lost earlier when she had been out and about, so she posted a request on the bulletin, hoping someone else could find it for her since she had little time or real inclination to do so herself. The request had been posted yesterday.

"What's that apple for?"

"Um…for Aria."

"That's for Aria?" Kyle repeated.

"Yes, sir."

"And—and that locket, you did that because it was a request, didn't you?"

"Yes, sir."

"You do all of her requests?"

"Every one I encounter on board, sir."

"And—and you think you're going to take her to the flower festival tomorrow, don't you?"

"I would like to."

He slammed the door in the boy's face. Then he frowned and looked as if something had struck him.

"Oh god," he said. "I'M TURNING INTO DOUGLASS!"


	2. Douglass' Shop of Horror

This is just a series of one-shots only loosely connected to each other to be or not to be updated at my leisure. They're meant only to be a bit of fun. Remember, review and enjoy!

XXX

"Douglass," Kyle said as he entered the shop. "I understand you now."

Douglass looked up from where he was counting coins at the counter with a puzzled look. "Kyle, since when have we _ever _understood each other?"

Well, that was true, actually. Kyle used to have a mixture of fear and annoyance for Douglass. He hated the way the man would watch him like a hawk whenever he came within five feet of Mana, or how he forced Kyle to resort to meeting Mana clandestinely. At Kyle's wedding to Cecilia, the third worst thing said to him that night had come from Douglass. As people had come to congratulate the new couple, Douglass had said, "Thanks for not marrying my daughter. Have a happy long life…WITHOUT MY DAUGHTER!" Cecilia had handled it all rather well and patted Kyle's back comfortingly.

That only ranked below Gordon's epic laugh and promise that "You know how hard all that fighting, mining, fishing and farming is? Guess what? Marriage is SIX TIMES HARDER! HAHAHA!" That, of course, had been enough to scare Kyle almost senseless. He had been so nervous all that day about the wedding he had nearly put his clothes on backwards. It wasn't until Gordon once again laughed in his face and informed him that his hat, which everyone claimed was the traditional outfit of a groom but Kyle suspected was just another reason for Gordon to laugh at him, was on backwards that he corrected it.

Oh, and the second worst thing said that night came from Jake, who had approached Kyle with a murderous expression and swore that "I'll kill you six times with your own hoe if you even _dare _upset Ceci." Kyle thought a simple "congratulations" would have sufficed.

But now, after all those years of Douglass glaring at him, threatening him, flexing his bicep and promising he'd crush Kyle's head like a nutcracker, it was all coming together.

Kyle was going to says something else, but before he could, the door opened and his daughter pranced in.

"Hi, dad. Hi, Douglass," she said.

"Oh, Aria, coming to spend your allowance," Douglass said.

"Yes, I am. And I have extra allowance now!" She smiled and exchanged some money for a sleeping bag, which she set against the wall for the time being and turned to her father.

"If you're going into a cave, Aria, remember to take at least six recovery potions, that shield I especially made for you and a couple of herbs," Kyle said.

Aria made a face. "But the shield's almost as big as I am."

"It's for your own good."

"But it's all so unwieldy."

"It's either that or you won't be able to go into the caves at all."

She sighed. "Yes, sir. By the way, dad, it's the flower festival tomorrow."

Oh, that was right. Flower festival. Usually it was an event Aria didn't have much interest in, but now she was fifteen. And things were changing, and that meant the festival was going to be much different.

To Kyle, the mere mention of the festival made him grit his teeth.

"I need your advice on something," she continued. "You see, Leonel invited me to go."

It was Kyle's turn to make a face. "Why?!"

"Um, I don't really know."

"I mean why have a festival like that!? It's horrible. What, you have all the young people wasting their time staring at flowers and doing god knows what…There's gotta be a law against it somewhere."

"Oh, please," Douglass said. "I remember you asking EVERYBODY to that festival. You said it was your favorite time of year."

"Well, things change," came Kyle's terse response.

"Dad, are you going to help me out or not?

"Yes, of course, just tell me your problem."

"Okay, Leonel invited me to go. But when I was hanging around Tanya's Roy invited me to go. But then, even later, I was hanging out by the fountain Orland comes up to me and says something like 'Look, I don't have anyone else to do this with, so will you pointlessly watch the flowers with me?'"

"I see your problem right there. Boys. Now, what did I tell you? They're probably already turning around and asking three other girls to go. Because they're just like that, Aria!"

"I _know_. We already talked about this. But I need to go with someone."

"And why exactly? Can't you just do what you do every year?

"You mean ignore the holiday exists? That's sort of boring. I'd like to do something different for a change, and I don't mind if a boy invites me. My problem is that I don't know which one."

"Where did all these boys come from? It's almost like they're jumping out of the woodwork! They're like sharks or vultures, circling around, ready to pounce."

"HAHAHA! Serves you right, Kyle!" Douglass was pointing and laughing. "How does it feel? Huh!?

Kyle tried to ignore him the best he could, but it was hard, considering Douglass was so big and his laughter so loud.

"Which one should I take?" Aria said, as she tapped her foot impatiently.

"None. Tell them you're single and enjoy it."

"But I don't enjoy it. It'd be weird if I went to watch the flowers by myself. At least I'm asking your opinion on this, you know. I could just go ahead and not…"

Kyle sighed and said, "Roy's too old for you. Way too old. He's a nice kid…when he's not after my daughter…but he's too old so that's out of the question. Orland…NO. Leonel, well, if you must take someone, take him."

"Why no to Orland?"

"Are you joking? Can't you see for yourself?"

"I think he's nice."

At this, both men in the room laughed.

"Orland's about as nice as his father, which we both know means he's just sooo cuddly and wonderful," Kyle said. "As if I'd let any of Jake's descendents lay a hand on mine…"

"Kid," Douglass said. "There are other fish in the sea. Don't go after one as…I don't want to say jerk but I will. Don't go after jerks. You deserve more than them."

Aria blushed. "But—but I think—I think I'd like watching the flowers with him and all."

"Why not Leonel?" Kyle said, hoping she'd see reason. If she had to go with anyone, it might as well be the non-threatening and nice type…

"He's my good friend. But I really don't think I'd like watching the flowers with him as much as with Orland. No, actually, I think I know who I'm going with."

"NOT Orland."

"Yes, Orland."

Kyle closed his eyes, rubbed his temples and simply had to ask the question that was eating at him, "Why?! He's almost like a mini-Jake. I've never seen that boy take an interest in anything past his books. He's cold and condescending and rude to everyone…so why? Just answer me that."

"But you don't understand at all! When I'm with him, he's different. He smiles and all…and it makes me happy."

Kyle stared at her.

Douglass was on the ground, rolling with laughter, but Kyle barely heard him.

"Of all the boys…"

"Dad, there're three."

"Then pick Leonel, for the love of all! I like his parents. Dorothy's a sweet girl."

Douglass piped in. "Yeah, you certainly knew her _so_ well, didn't you, Kyle? What was her favorite fish again?"

"How'd you know anything about me and—"

"I was watching you, boy, making sure you didn't make the wrong move. I know you fished char out the lake every day, alongside collecting gemstones for a certain person. It wasn't until you got married that I stopped."

"Oh, great," Kyle said. "Douglass, this isn't about my glorious past. And, Aria, you can date anyone you want who isn't Jake's son, a bigot, cold or calculating."

"But—"

"End of story. By the way, if you do date, I have to meet the boy first and approve of him."

Aria folded her arms and pouted, defeated by her tyrant-father. "I don't want to date anyone. I just want to…to go watch some stupid flowers."

"Flowers lead to other things!" Kyle said.

"What other things!?"

"Things I—I won't mention but do happen, don't they, Douglass?"

Douglass held his hands up. "Not getting involved. I have a daughter of my _own _to deal with. Besides, I've put all this arguing with teenagers behind me when Mana turned twenty."

There was a silence for a moment, before Aria kicked her feet, hung her head, and said, "It's not like he likes me at all, anyway. He said he didn't hate me but…it doesn't matter." She sighed, turned and walked from the shop.

"This is penance, isn't it?" Kyle said.

"Nah. It's just life." Douglass was already at the shelf, reorganizing the merchandise.

"Yeah, well, sometimes I wish these things were a bit easier. Why can't she go for the right type of boy? Or, better yet, skip the drama associated with all this dating stuff. I mean, it was like yesterday that she was just a little girl and now…" He made a face. "These boys are circling her like vultures around meat. I don't like it one bit." Kyle thought for a moment, then said, "Hey, teach me your secrets, Douglass. I want to make earthquakes, too."

This stopped Douglass cold and he turned, giving Kyle a glare that could wilt flowers. "What makes you think _you _are worthy of them?"

"Well, I didn't marry your daughter. And now I understand you and why you hounded me so much."

"Kyle, do you want to know my exact reasons for hounding you?" Douglass leaned across the counter.

"Tell me."

"There are seven reasons."

"Okay, what are they?"

"Rosalind, Mana, Alicia, Dorothy, Cecilia, Yue and Julia."

Kyle groaned. "I'll never live that down, will I?"

"Not for as long as I live. But, seeing as how you have a daughter now and seem to have ended your former ways." At this, he glared at Kyle long and hard. "I will teach you the tricks of the trade."

"Awesome. I'm ready to make earthquakes whenever you are."

"First you need to start an exercise routine that'll make you tough and pumped. None of this stick stuff you're pulling now. Look at ya, yer scrawny! Buff up, man!"

"I work the fields morning and night and wave around a sword almost as big as I am. Trust me, I am strong."

"But you don't look it. And that's all that matters. See, you need muscles like this." He flexed his massive biceps.

Kyle had to smile, remembering how intimidated he had once been by Douglass.

"You need to be so pumped no boy would DARE talk to your daughter, look at her, think about her…because you'll be there, ready to squish some teenage boy heads. And to get a good earthquake...well, first you have to channel all your anger and just let it out in a great burst! Like, this. BAM!"

Nothing shook, nothing happened. "Um, where's the earthquake?"

Douglass scratched his head. "I guess I'm getting a little rusty. I haven't had to use it in a while...what, with you married and all."

"Are you saying I'm the only one you used the earthquake on?"

"Yes, so? You were a persistent little twerp. Most of the others just ran away and hid under rocks like little mice if I so much as looked at them funny. Anyway, forget the earthquake, just flex your muscles and look threatening."

"So, what does this exercise routine consist of, anyway?"

"About two-thousand push-ups. But, for you, I'd say about five hundred."

"The things I do for love. Anyway, thanks for the tips, Douglass. I'll be sure to put them to good use."

Unknown to Kyle, Cecilia was standing in the doorway of the shop, listening with an annoyed expression. "Or maybe you could allow her to grow up and learn all of these things for herself," she said, hands on hips. Kyle turned abruptly as she continued, "She's a teenager. There's nothing wrong with her growing up."

"Shows how much you know about the perversions of teenage boys, Ceci. No offense, but it _is _for Aria's best interest."

"Kyle, please." She shook her head. Then she grabbed him by the hand, dragging him from the shop. She so hated arguing in front of other people.

"Bye, Douglass." He said as he was pulled through the door.

"Yeah, bye." Was the reply.

Now outside the shop and with no one around, Cecilia felt they could continue. "She's grown up, Kyle. Accept that. Please."

"No, seriously," Kyle said. "I want to make earthquakes."

She said nothing and looked very demure until she bopped him on the back of his head and walked off. He rubbed the bump. It sure did hurt.

But maybe he deserved it.

Maybe.

XXX

As you can tell, a lot of this hints at what could be an interesting longer story involving Orland and Aria. I'm actually toying with the idea of writing said story. It could be fun.


	3. Kyle's Romantic Tale

This chapter is rather short, because I'm working on the longfic I've been talking about (and real life, of course). Review, please, and tell me what you think!

XXXX

Kyle wiped his brow. Plowing the fields in the heat was hard work, but he knew that at harvest time seeing the fruits of his labor would make all this sweat and effort worth it. Besides, he liked working in the soil.

Beside him his eleven-year-old daughter watered the seeds he had just buried in the warm earth.

"Hey, dad," she said, pushing her sweaty hair out of her face.

"Hm?"

"When did you know mom was the one?"

"When? You'll have to give me a second on that one." He thought it over in his mind. It was a good question, actually. It was hard to remember the exact moment when he knew without doubt that Cecilia was the one for him. Sure, he had always liked her, but he had also liked others too. He had fond memories of hanging out with Alicia and Mana and Rosalind and…everything female, actually.

Quite suddenly he remembered one day when Cecilia had asked to meet him in the woods and then told him Jake had asked her hand in marriage.

He remembered feeling chills. Married…to him? It would have meant the end of everything they had. Everything. And that scared him silly. So he said the only thing he knew to say; he pledged to marry her if only she wouldn't marry Jake. It was the closest he'd ever come to begging but, damn it all, he didn't want his Ceci to be gone forever.

But as he looked at his little daughter, he knew she wouldn't understand. And maybe she'd gag at all that 'romantic stuff'. So he told her about a different event.

"Well, Aria, I would say it was when your mom made me propose to her in a highly dangerous, monster-filled dungeon."

"There?"

"Why, yes, and then she asked me if I liked my girls weird. I knew we were meant to be from that moment on."

"…_that's_ it? That's weird."

"Hey, weird is in your genes on both sides. You best not be insulting it just yet."

"But it's so…anticlimactic and not romantic."

"Well, I'll tell you what. You can go out and see if you can't do any better than that. But, I'm telling you, times of honesty like that are the best. You see, your mother was just getting an undeniable fact out of the way first. Wouldn't it be horrible if I went into the marriage thinking she was the normal little Ceci every one else assumed she was? But, never fear, she got that out of the way real quick. I knew _exactly _what I was getting into, and I didn't care. Not one bit. Now that's romance for you."

"..."

"Yes, good honest romance."

"Did you at least have to save her from a monster or something?"

"Nope."

"So you two went in to a horrible, monster-filled dungeon without a scratch just so she could ask for a proposal and tell you she's weird?"

"Yep."

"I'm sorry, daddy. I wish things could be more interesting for you."

"Back in my day, things rarely got more interesting than what was on the request board. These days you kids go exploring dungeons so deep you can't see the end."

"I don't go into dungeons any more. Not since after you grounded me." From the way her big brown eyes shifted and from how she suddenly looked unsteady that she was lying through her teeth. Honestly, though, he didn't feel like arguing about this today…_again_. So he only gave her a look that made her sure he knew what she was up to, all the while he was thankful that, at the very least, she was a horrible liar.

"So, was mom really weird?"

"Extraordinarily. From what I hear, she was strange even when she was a little girl. Of course, I didn't know her then."

"So…being weird is okay?"

"For you, it's inevitable. What with who your parents are…"

"Wow. Maybe I'll find a weird boy of my own someday."

Kyle laughed. "Hahaha…no you won't."

"A normal boy?"

"We aren't talking about boys ever. Not until you're fifty."

"But—"

"Nope."

From behind them, they both heard someone say, "I brought something to eat." It was Cecilia. Aria hungrily snatched the basket from her hand and began to eat.

"So, Kyle," Cecilia began. "I heard you two talking and I just wanted to say that of course Aria is going to find someone special for her."

"She's eleven," he said.

"Yes, well, it will happen one day."

"I don't think about it."

"I don't see why it bothers you so much, Kyle! It's a perfectly wonderful thing."

"But she's too young for that sort of thing. Right, Aria?"

"Actually, dad," she said, between bites. "I'm already married."

Both adults stared at her, stunned.

"Just ask Gordon! It's going to be our second anniversary in a week!"

"…Gordon MARRIED you?" said Kyle. "To whom?!"

"To Orland! And then Roy! And then Leonel! It's really hard to keep up with all the anniversaries, though, but I manage. It's really fun! I got to wear my best dress and I looked really pretty. Then we pledged our eternal love to each other forever and ever! And I have a lot of love, seeing as how I have to spread it out amongst all of my husbands. Cammy said I had a whole harem! But I don't really know what that means…and it made Orland sort of mad when I mentioned it…"

"And when did this happen exactly?" Kyle said.

"When you were away."

"Why didn't you do something about it, Ceci?!"

"Because I don't panic about these things like you do. If she wants to pretend to be married, I think it's a perfectly adorable, healthy way to be. It's preparing her for real marriage. Why, if she wants to pretend to be married to a boy…or three…" She stopped. "Oh. I think I get what you mean now…Aria, which one do you like the most? Perhaps you should teach yourself a little something about commitment."

"What?" said Kyle. "She doesn't need boys! Dump them all. And what are you doing with Orland, anyway? He's a near replica of his father. And Roy's too old for you! And Leonel's…tolerable…except for the hat. But, that's not the point. No boys, missy, until you're ninety-two. And even then you'll have to write a letter asking first."

Cecilia snorted. "That's right. Just listen to your father and be a single for the rest of your life."

"Actually, mom," Aria said. "Dad's right. I don't _need _boys. I mean, it's sort of fun, but I'm okay by myself. You know, I just like having some company." She smiled. "Maybe I'll stay married now to see how I like it. If I do, I'm sure it'll be a fun time." She smiled. "But if I don't that's okay."

"There's really no need to rush, anyway," Kyle said.

Covered in filth and sweat (other than Cecilia, who was well-polished and wearing her favorite sunhat), they all made their way back into the house, with Cecilia whispering something along the lines of, "Three boys? My, she does take after you."

To which, Kyle whispered, "Funny how, despite all those girls, I still chose you."

To that, Cecilia only smiled.

XXXX

This chapter was inspired by my thinking about how Cecilia gets Kyle to propose to her. It's one of the funniest moments in the game. "Do you like weird girls, Kyle?" "Yes, now marry me." You'd think Kyle would know better than chasing after weird girls…Well, they're both off-their-rockers but at least their off-their-rockers together.


	4. Aria plus Orland equals Babies

Strange chapter title? Well, I couldn't help it. Somebody used this in their review and it amused me so much I'm using it here. Fanfic, unfortunately, will not allow me to use symbols in my title so I had to spell it all out. Oh sorrow.

The day had started normally. He woke up, changed out of his nightclothes and ate a lovely breakfast courtesy of his wife. And then he saw it.

It was a dark, ugly mark on the calendar. A heart. He groaned when he realized what it meant.

"Cecilia, do you know what day it is?"

She blinked. "You're not about to panic, are you?"

"It's the dance festival. What is this? Kids dancing close with each other…don't they know what that leads to? I can tell you what it leads to! Stuff it shouldn't lead to! There the kids are, dancing close, and they get funny ideas in their heads. What if Aria…nope, not going to happen."

She rolled her eyes. "Don't spoil this day for Aria, Kyle. We got into our fair share of trouble ourselves when we were young. Don't you remember our first dance?"

"Yes, actually, and I know exactly where it led: Aria."

Cecilia would have replied if Aria hadn't stumbled downstairs, yawning.

"'Morning!" She said, cheerfully.

Nobody said anything as Aria looked slowly over to the wall, noticed the calendar and was immediately reminded of what specific and very special day it was.

"It's the dance festival!" She exclaimed, jumping up and down. "It's going to be so fun! Especially since I'm actually going to participate this year."

She turned to them humming softly and looking starry-eyed.

Kyle's expression was so complicated it can barely be described: one part irritation at the festival, one part murder for the boys, and one part protective for his poor little girl.

"Why would you want to go to the dance festival?" he said. "Trust me. It's not that great. Besides, who said you could go?"

"Um, mom did."

Cecilia smiled sweetly. "Yes, I did say she could go. Is there a problem with that, Kyle, dear?"

"But, you're just a little girl! You're barely fifteen!"

"And I'm not really a child anymore, dad."

"But you're _my_ little girl!"

"Well…yeah, that doesn't change." She looked sheepish. "But maybe I want a boyfriend…you know."

"But—but boys are perverse and evil creatures when it comes to innocent little girls!"

"And that's okay!" Aria said, rather loudly. "I like perversity."

"Whaaat?!"

"Honey, she's joking," said Cecilia.

Aria face broke into a grin. "Sorry, daddy."

"Who are you going with!?"

"Orland."

Kyle nearly had a heart attack.

"If she wants to go, she can go," Cecilia said. "Now run along, dear, before your father gets over his shellshock and starts thinking coherently again."

Aria scampered off through the front door, leaving it to slam behind her.

The racket snapped Kyle out of his shock. "Ceci, where's my hammer?"

"Kyle, NO, you are not killing anyone."

"Fine. Where's that scythe?"

She buried her face in her hands just as there was a light knock on the door. It snapped Kyle's attention.

He opened the door and immediately went tense.

There was Orland, trying to look uninterested and disaffected, yet peering around Kyle into the kitchen.

"Is Aria here?" He said.

Kyle looked back at Cecilia, as if begging her for help.

Taking the cue, she edged herself in front of Kyle and put on a sunny smile. "Why, Orland, hi! How's your father?"

"Fine."

"Aria just left."

"Oh. Thanks. Not that it really matters that much."

"You're welcome."

He sort of skulked off, before turning back around. "Um, do you know where she's gone? I mean, I don't really need to see her or anything…I'm just curious."

"Hm. No. I don't know where that girl goes half the time…" Cecilia said.

Orland sort of kicked his feet and walked away, looking a bit more glum than usual.

He went to the park, which was where the kids usually hung out on off-days (the older people in the town always referred to it as that "damn sinful teenage hangout-thing where everything that's wrong with the world thrives").

Near the fountain was a pack of girls giggling horribly. It always meant trouble. A giggling girl was like a roaring lion: dangerous and probably means they're about to eat you.

In one corner were the boys, looking timid and scared, shuffling their feet.

"Hi, Orland," Roy said.

"What's going on?" Orland asked.

"Um…the girl's are doing something evil," Leonel said, bringing the brim of his hat over his eyes.

"We think they're trying to summon a demon or something! Wouldn't that be neat?" Roy was trying to get the best look he could of the group of girls without actually getting closer.

"You can't summon demons. It's a known fact," Orland said, his voice a bit too sharp. What morons…

"Yeah, tell them that!" Leonel said. "Look, they have these weird instruments and tools and stuff. Some of it looks really sharp and threatening…"

This intrigued Orland. "All right. I suppose I should go see…not that I care. Just to satisfy my intellectual curiosity."

"He's probably just going to ogle the girls," Roy said.

"Am not!" Orland said. "I could care less if the girls were there or not! I just want to see how dangerous those objects really are. My interest is intellectual."

"So you're going to intellectually ogle, girls?" Roy laughed.

Orland grimaced and stomped away, right to the group of girls.

All at once as if on a hive mind, the girls looked up, eyeing him.

"Go away, Orland! We're still working here!" Cammy said.

"On what?" was his reply.

"On horrible stuff that'll rot your eyes out if you see, that's what."

Being a teenage boy, horrible stuff that would rot his eye balls out intrigued him greatly.

"Let me see then," Orland said. "I've got an extra eye to spare."

"Should we show him, girls!?" Cammy said loudly.

There were several high-pitched squees of approval.

As all the girls parted, what Orland saw nearly made his eyeballs jump for cover. There was Aria, but a different Aria, like an Aria from a different dimension.

She wore a long dress, her hair twisted in knots and adorned with flowers and jewels only Leann could afford (and Leann was standing beside her holding a wicked looking instrument known as an eyelash curler, but Orland didn't notice her). Make-up was slathered across her face. That wasn't all. There were other things awry about her.

Something was different in her chest-region, actually. Something he had never really noticed before until now when she was wearing this low top.

Before he knew it, he was staring. And then he pointed right at her chest. "What are those things?"

"Hm? Like them? They're new!" She giggled, blushing insanely. The girls followed suit and only Leann had the decency to look offended at Orland's behavior.

"And what am I suppose to say to that?" He had the feeling he had just stepped into a minefield on the level of "does this shirt/dress/female garment make me look fat?"

"I'm going to seduce you with them!" Her voice was so cheerful and innocent, he half-wondered if she knew what she was saying. The other half was not wondering about that…_at all_.

"If you think you're going to use your newly-discovered assets to seduce me, you're sadly mistaken," he said, sticking his nose in the air and trying to look as nonchalant as he possibly could.

"Orland, you're implying I would have to work that hard. All I'd have to do is snap a finger and you'll be there!"

"Not true!"

"Is too." She stuck out her tongue and snapped her finger. "See, you're here!"

"What! That doesn't—"

She snapped her finger again. "Haha! You're here again!"

"That's cheating!"

Third time, she snapped her finger. "Wow! You're here again."

Orland's face turned red from a mixture of embarrassment and agitation. "Dammit." And he walked away, not wanting to prove her right a fourth time.

And the girls giggled in triumph.

"Man, what was _that_?" Roy said as Orland walked by. "They ate you alive. All you needed to do was hand them salt and they're set."

"Well, he got further than we did," Leonel said. "I'm still kinda sort of debating on whether I should talk to Leann. She's so pretty. I don't know…she'd just say no…"

"Yeah. It would be nice if girls couldn't say no. Like, all you'd have to do is say 'Hi!' and they're yours. Because rejection sucks…." Roy mused.

"Have fun with that. I'm going to find better things to do with my time than—" But before Orland could finish, Roy, his eyes wide, pointed at the horrible mob of giggle-monsters. Apparently, Roy had just caught site of the newly-made over Aria for the first time. How a girl usually so tomboyish became so girly-looking was beyond anyone to know.

"Oh my god! Aria's a girl!" he screamed.

Orland nearly fell over. "I know. It was a little shocking to me, too."

"Where did those things come from?!"

"She said she grew them."

"Like cabbage?" piped Leonel.

"I don't want to know," Orland groaned.

"I never knew she was pretty…" Roy said. "Why is she so pretty now?"

"Could it be the layer of make-up?" Orland said.

"No, I don't know what it is. It's just _something_. You know, maybe I should talk to her."

For some reason, the way Roy was talking about Aria bothered Orland to no end. He could just see that jerk go up to Aria and ask her out and she would say yes and—and then she'd never talk to him again. Because deep down he knew she would like Roy more than him…Roy liked talking, for one. Roy liked people and could be around them for more than five minutes without thinking they were idiots. Mostly because Roy himself was an idiot (well, he wasn't really even if he skipped out on homework and work in general. Orland just considered everyone stupid). But Orland liked talking to her…he'd do anything to keep talking to her.

So, without thinking, he braved the distance to Aria, braved the mocking laughter of the girls, and said, "It's the dance festival and I don't really care if you say yes or no. But you might as well dance with me."

Aria knew that was the closest he'd come to begging her. So, her face so red and her smile so wide, she said, "I thought you'd never ask."

The girls all laughed.

"That's so cuuute!" Cammy said. "You've melted the ice prince's heart!"

"Did not. I just don't have anything else to do, okay? And dancing with Aria just might be a tiny bit better than nothing. Just a bit." He bent his face forward, however, to hide his reddening cheeks.

As Aria took his hand, they stepped in front of the fountain, and were about to step into a dance when…

The very ground began to shake.

"What's going—" He heard Aria's voice yell, but she was drowned out.

From behind them came a booming voice, "THAT'S MY DAUGHTER"

"Errr…" was all Orland could say as he scrambled off the ground.

"THIS IS THE RAGE OF A FATHER"

"Uhhh"

"STAY AWAY FROM HER"

"…."

And then the force of nature walked away.

"Daaaaaad," Aria screamed, chasing after him. "How could you do this to me!? I'm telling mom!"

Orland stood where he was, stiff.

Douglass walked by. "Hey, what'd you know? I passed on the torch."

What Douglass didn't mention, but Orland knew, was that the torch was the red-hot torch of father rage.

"Dammit," Orland said under his breath and headed home.

XXX

Yay! Kyle's psychotic! Aria seduces Orland …and the boys really need to find a hobby besides mooning after girls. This chapter is probably the epitome of a fun little drabble written for no reason. Well, other than the fact I have no life and love writing this stuff.


	5. The Things We Lose Part I

The things we lose Part I

Kyle went into Tanya's shop with the intention of getting a sword. When he saw Jake, however, his intentions immediately changed to doing his best not to punch the half-elf in the face.

Ever since Kyle laid eyes on Ceci and fell in love, things had been bad, but bad was rapidly becoming worse and worse between the men.

As Kyle moved past Jake to find Tanya and buy a sword, Jake glared, but Kyle ignored him. Until he realized Tanya wasn't there, so he turned about to Jake.

"I need a certain type of sword. Something with a large reach. Have anything?" Kyle said.

Jake looked up. "Take a look for yourself."

Tanya kept all of the merchandise displayed on the walls (and, yes, it was dangerous, especially during earthquakes, but Tanya must have been hit on the head one too many times because she just didn't care). As Kyle browsed, he couldn't help but say, as casually as he could, "So, had any sons steal my daughter away lately?"

"Nope. Had any daughters seduce my son on this beautiful day?"

"Nope. Only Aria."

"About Aria. Keep her away from my son."

"It isn't Aria who's after your son. Last time I checked, your son was after my poor little, innocent daughter."

"Nonsense," Jake said.

"How do you know?"

"Because Orland wouldn't touch her with a ten-foot pole."

"Yeah, but doesn't stop him because he certainly comes within less than ten feet of her all the time. AND TOUCHES HER."

"Keep your descendents off of mine, thanks."

"No problem. So long as your descendents stay off mine, m'kay, thanks."

"You're going to taint my gene pool," Jake said. "And that would disappoint me…_greatly_."

"Yes, because your gene pool is so pure and wonderful already. What are you afraid of anyway? Aria's perfect!"

"She's human."

Kyle sighed. "Still a bigot."

"And you're still human."

What took place was the greatest stare-down in history.

"You can leave whenever you want, Jake." Kyle said. "The door's right there."

"I work here."

"Oh. Well, have a nice day…withoutyoursonmydaughter." He said the last part rapidly and walked out the store fuming.

Later that day, Aria came into the store, the knees of her pants torn, her shirt a ratty mess, her hair flying this way and that. She wiped grime of her face and smiled as if nothing was amiss.

In response to Jake's look, she said. "I've been in the dungeons. Speaking of which, my dad says he forgot to get that sword he needs so I'm here to pick it up."

"He was already here earlier."

"Well, I guess he didn't have time to pick it up or something. Anyway, here I am." She waited expectantly.

"Tell your father he can come here and get it himself if he wants it so badly. And that he should have gotten it earlier today rather than sending you along as errand-girl."

"Oh," she said. "I can't tell him that. He said he wanted me to—"

"He can get it himself."

Aria frowned. "Mr. Jake?"

"Hm?"

"Do you not like me?"

Jake hesitated before answering. "I don't like you with my son. _At all_."

"What?! You too?" She was taken aback. "Everyone says that. But I like him, all right? I really do. Wouldn't it just be easier if you could approve?"

"Wouldn't it just be easier not to date my son?"

"But we'd still care about each other. Even if we weren't official. He makes me happy and, I make him happy and it's—it's just great." She was blushing and tripping over her words.

Jake snorted. "Let's see how long that happiness lasts for your little romance. You'll both only be disappointed in the end. That's how these sorts of things always turn out."

"Um, I hope not." Not liking the new direction of the conversation, Aria turned to leave.

"Wait. Tell me how your mother is. Is she healthy?"

"She's the exact same way she was when you asked yesterday."

"How is your father treating her?" His eye twitched.

"Well, you know, sometimes they fight but—"

"Then I'll kill him. Tell him the next time he says anything to so much as annoy her, I'll be there. If he lays a hand on her, it's OVER." Jake was holding his blacksmithing hammer as if he was about to throw it.

"No! No! That's not what I meant!"

"I can't believe he'd treat her like that, after all these years. She's too good for him, too perfect. If I didn't have work I'd go over there and beat some sense into that no-good Kyle and let him know what a fantastic thing he has to just let it go like that."

Aria blinked. "Mr. Jake! That's not what I meant! I mean they argue sometimes but every couple does. It's not like they hate each other. They love each other so much! A day doesn't go by that they tell each other how much they love each other and all that gushy stuff."

He held up a hand. "Don't go on. Just stop."

Immediately she held her breath, ready to leave again, but once more he asked her to stay.

"I want you to give this to your mother. Don't tell her it's from me." Jake gently put an emerald ring in Aria's hand. It shone beautifully.

"Who am I supposed to say it's from?"

"Don't say it's from anyone. Just give it to her."

"But why?"

"Because I just want her to have it, that's all. I want her to have something beautiful to wear. Is that too much?"

"No-no. It's just you ask me to do this sort of thing for you all the time." It was true, as almost every week Jake was handing Aria something beautiful and no-doubt expensive to give to Cecilia. For the past few years, Aria had been becoming gradually aware of Jake's peculiar kindness to her mother, how he tried to make her happy and content but from afar, seemingly so as to not intrude upon her marriage. It was almost as if he—he loved her.

Then all the pieces fell in place.

"You—do—do you like mom?" Her eyes were wide and she sputtered the words, a bit unsure.

"Do you like your mother? Does anyone not like your mom?"

"No, I mean, you know, love."

Jake closed his eyes. "…go away, little human. You'll never understand."

"You do!?" Aria stepped back. "Oh no! You do!? Is that why you hate dad? Is that why—"

"Get out this shop. Now." Jake head was seemingly bowed over his work, but Aria could tell he was trying to hide his eyes that betrayed so much sadness and hurt.

Aria raced from the shop, her revelation making her uncomfortable and sad. How come it seemed that whenever something wonderful occurred—like her father's and mother's marriage—somebody had to pay? Somebody had to lose out? All these things people wanted but could never have, so many things lost…

She had the urge to throw the ring in the damn fountain and never look at Jake again. It was her mother! Her mother. And he loved her. But her mother was with her father, so his ever having her, his ever being happy, was out of the question.

Orland never knew his own mother and he never talked about it much to Aria. It was only from other people that Aria had discovered that after her parent's had married, Jake had barely stuck around for more than a week before going out on his own to who-knows-where. And when he returned a year-and-a-half later he brought with him a surprise: Orland.

According to gossip, Egan had not been happy at all. Yue agreed to move in and be paid to watch out for the baby and act as a nanny, as she liked children and money, and Jake knew absolutely nothing about caring for little ones. And of course the first two questions on everyone's mind were who the mother was and if Jake had been married to her. Jake wouldn't answer either question, only saying that the child was in fact his. It became increasingly obvious to everyone that Orland was probably a bastard, born to parents who had never been married and never would be. And everyone treated him as such to some extent or another. Why Jake would do something stupid like that, however, was something nobody knew.

But now that Aria knew what she knew she could figure out the answer herself. She could picture poor Jake watching as what he loved move away from him. It must have made him lonely and frustrated, and so he finally left the sad, sad town and the happily-married Ceci behind. And then he tried to fill in the hole Cecilia had made, to find something to replace her, to be her, to make him happy. Likely it was spur-of-the-moment, unthought, unplanned, done from great sadness and anger, done because he was looking for something to fill the hole in his heart and Orland was the result of it all. Because he could never have Cecilia. Ever.

Aria sat on the edge of the fountain, idly watching her feet kick, lost in thoughts and revelations.

Usually she didn't much like Jake, as he was always so rude and harsh to everyone. Yet now she felt compelled to go back to the shop.

As she stepped through the door timidly, she wasn't quite sure what she wanted to say, but the words tumbled out soon enough.

"M-Mr. Jake," She began.

His attention snapped to her.

Without thinking she reached in her pocket where the ring was and set it on the work table.

"I'm sorry," She mumbled and tried to scamper off.

"Stay," was all Jake said. She watched as he picked the little ring up in his callused hand, eyeing it numbly.

"Is Cecilia happy?" he said. Aria was about to answer, but he stopped her. "I shouldn't even ask that question. Of course she's happy. She's never been happier. Not when she lived at the inn, not around me…you make her happy, you know that, Aria? You and your—your father." He finished, making a face. "Because of your father…she could never be happier."

For a long moment he seemed caught up in an old memory.

"You loved her," Aria said, trying to break the silence. "What happened?"

"She didn't love me," he said, his voice strangely mellow and sorrowful. "Because she loved Kyle and that was that. At first I thought I could take Ceci back, maybe run away with her somewhere, marriage be damned. And then you came along." He looked suddenly at Aria. "And I knew that nothing I could give her could make her happier than you. Maybe if you were my daughter…maybe then I could take some sort of satisfaction in knowing I gave her the thing in her life she loves the most. But you're not and I could never. But Kyle did. The greatest thing Kyle ever did for her was giving her you. You, Aria, and I could never do anything for her that would equal it." There was a deep bitterness in his voice. "Yes, I can throw these stupid baubles at her." He gripped the ring. "I can imagine her renouncing her marriage and running away with me and having my children and loving me. But I could never compete with all your father did for her. Ever, dammit."

Aria felt a bit strange hearing all this from him. She knew her mother loved her, of course, but she had never really reflected on how much, nor really thought about it at all. It was something she had always taken for granted.

"I'm sorry. I'm so, so sorry." Aria said, not knowing what else to say.

"What's to be sorry for? I'm the one pining away for something I can't have. Tell me, Aria, and tell me the truth, do you really like Orland."

She turned a bit pink but found her voice and answered, "Yes. I do. Very much."

"Then I hope you two are happy. I won't hold you two back anymore."

With that he turned away from her, from the bench where he had been working and fell into a chair, rubbing his temples.

The conversation was over. Aria left the shop feeling uneasy and adrift. She found herself wandering to the inn. Egan watched as she passed him and went up the stairs.

"Need anything?" He said.

She turned, looking pale-faced. "N-no sir." Then she continued on her way, straight to Orland's room.

At first she knocked faintly but then louder.

"Hold on!" said an annoyed voice and the door opened a moment later.

"Aria? What do you need?" He said.

Saying nothing at all she stepped forward and fell into his arms.

He wasn't quite sure what to do with her at first as she cried quietly. But then he did what he had wanted to do for a long time and wrapped his arms around her, resting his cheek on the top her head. It didn't feel weird at all, but wonderful and secure. And eventually her gentle crying gave to silence, so that all one could hear was soft breathing.

"Are you okay?" he asked.

"Yeah," she said.

And they stayed that way for a great long while.

XXX

Other than the beginning this chapter took on a peculiarly serious tone, especially in light of the supremely un-serious tone of the last chapter. Huh. I guess I just sympathize with a Jake. Future one-shots will likely not be this serious so no worries. Anyway, I hope you enjoyed it anyway! Remember to do your duty and review!

Also a more humorous part occurred in the end and involved Kyle walking in on Aria and Orland's sweet little moment. Unfortunately it made this insanely long oneshot even longer. So I've taken that part and am writing it as the next oneshot, which will be coming soon. Hence the part I in this chapter's title.


	6. The Things We Lose Part II

Man, I'm on a super-inspired updating rampage.

This chapter picks up immediately where the first part left off. I advise you to read it to understand fully.

XXX

The warmth of Orland's and Aria's embrace turned cold when they heard voices downstairs.

"Have you seen my daughter, Egan?"

"Yes, I have. She went upstairs."

"To Orland's room?"

"I assume so."

"And you let her?"

"Well, I didn't really think about—"

"You let a teenage girl go…ALONE…into a teenage boy's room? You must have really, seriously not been thinking, Egan. Either that or it's been a long time since you've raised a teenage kid."

"Uh, Kyle, what's the hammer for?"

"Oh I was just pounding some rocks in the field earlier when I noticed Aria wasn't home. I sincerely hope I won't have any reason to use it to pound OTHER things."

They could hear heavy boot-steps on the stairs.

"Of course he would come. Of all times, of course he would choose now to come." Orland immediately broke the embrace and started fretting. He was seriously in fear of his life.

Aria glared. "I can't believe he doesn't trust me."

"It's not you who should worried," he said and then, Looking frantic, he opened the window beside his bed. Of course, that required that he actually get on the bed. "The moment he comes near tell me so I can jump out and save myself."

"But you could get hurt!"

"It's better than being murdered, mangled and then _tossed _out the window."

"It's a dumb idea. We'll just…explain to him what happened and why I'm here. He'll understand, right, right!?"

"Of course he won't! Because he's been looking for an excuse to kill me ever since you started talking to me! I'm too young to die."

"And too handsome!" She said and smiled, hopping on the bed and hugging his shoulders.

"Quit that! What if he hears you? Or sees you or—GET OFF ME! I don't want to die!"

"I'll hide!" she said.

"Try under the bed," he said.

With the heavy bootsteps, slow and threatening, still coming from the stairs, Aria tried but found the space was too small for her."

"Where's the closet?" She said, looking around.

"There isn't one."

"Where do you put your clothes?"

He pointed to a pile of clothing strewn on the floor.

She made a face but didn't say another word.

The bootsteps were no longer on the stairs but from outside the door.

"Quick! Under the covers! I'll hide you with pillows!" Orland said, not knowing what else to do.

"Don't suffocate me," she said as she crawled under the blankets. He piled pillows on top and made sure to make a little hole so she could breathe. She giggled and he kicked the pillows and told her to shut up. Then he dusted himself off and hoped to god Kyle couldn't read minds.

Kyle towered in the door. "Where is she?"

Orland shrugged, trying to look confident when on the inside his heart was beating all over the place. "How should I know?"

"Egan said she was here."

"Huh? What would Egan know? He's senile."

Kyle stalked around the room like a lion sniffing out its prey. He lifted things up, peered behind things and all around made Orland seriously consider jumping out the window while he was still alive.

Then Kyle came to the bed. "These pillows look AWFULLY suspicious."

"They're-they're not suspicious. They're just pillows. On my bed. With nothing under them. At all. Because they're on my bed. And they're not alive."

"They're breathing."

"Oh crap," Orland said. "All right. I give in. You might as well kill me now and get it over with. Yes, Aria is under them. She's in my room, on my bed. Now please just kill me so we can get this over with."

Aria popped up. "Um, hi, dad."

"What were you doing on his bed?"

"Hiding?"

"Okay, I'll ask again." Kyle was casually tapping his hammer and Orland didn't miss it. "What were you guys doing?"

Knowing that he was going to die anyway, Orland gave in. "I don't know. What stuff do you normally do on a bed?"

If convention says it was impossible to die from anger, then Kyle broke all the rules and nearly died on the spot. "What!?"

"We weren't doing anything," Aria said, sending Orland a glare. "And you're just egging him on!"

Orland shrug. "He's going to kill me anyway. It's pointless to fight it."

"Damn right I'm going to kill you. Aria, I am so disappointed right now."

"We didn't do anything," she said. "I just came into his room, we heard you downstairs and knowing you would OVEREACT I tried to find a place to hide."

"On his bed?"  
"It seemed like a good idea at the time," Orland said.

"Being on a boy's bed is NEVER a good idea. It leads to trouble. You kids have _no _idea. Unless—unless I interrupted something." Kyle's nostrils flared. "And something WAS going on that I don't know about."

"The only reason she was there is because there's nowhere else to hide," Orland said. "Anyway, you're probably not going to listen so if you'll excuse me as I jump out the window and spare you the trouble."

Kyle grumbled something under his breath. "Your mother's going to hear about this."

"She's not going to care," Aria said. "She'll probably do what you're not doing and, you know, believe me. Please, daddy. Believe me. Don't murder Orland with a hammer. I like him and we would never do anything like that ever until we're married. And then that would only be to have lots of little babies."

"Uh…no?" said Orland.

"Oh, but I already have name's for them! One's going to be named Clarissa. And I'll even name one after you, dad!"

"No, seriously, I don't want to have any babies. I hate babies. I despise babies. There is no word to describe how I feel about babies."

"You would hate our own babies!?" She said, but she had cracked into a smile and wasn't at all serious. "You monster! I'll go find someone else then. And he'll _love _babies."

"If you're talking about having Roy's children, then yes, he will simply adore every last idiot one because he'd finally find someone of his intellect."

"Leonel?"

"Are you sure _he_ wouldn't be the one having them?"

"Now that's just mean!"

Kyle's eyebrow twitched. "There will be no baby-making on _my _watch."

"But, daddy," Aria said.

"No babies until you're married! Now, Aria, how about you go home now and see how your mother is doing. I need to talk to Orland for a moment."

Aria sighed. "It was nice knowing you."

"Yes, I rather enjoyed being alive myself."

Aria left, sulking. Kyle turned to Orland. "Are you positive nothing was going on?"

"Yes."

"If you're thinking about taking advantage of her, then you have another thing coming. Most likely a hammer, but I've been known to mix it up with a scythe."

"I'm aware," he said, dryly. "I-I hate saying this. I hate admitting it but—" he closed his eyes. "Ireallylikeher."

"What?"

He tried saying it slower this time. "I really like her. I really do. I hate it. I hate liking her because she distracts me but I can't help it." He pulled at his hair. "Trust me, I would have found a way to stop liking her if I could. I've even tried banging my head against the wall. But it doesn't work. Because—because she smiles and everything seems so much better and I just can't concentrate on my stupid studies because I keep thinking about _her. _So, yes, I do like your daughter. I _do_. And if you don't mind, please hit me already so maybe I can find some peace from this ridiculous feeling. Because that's just what it is, silly, ridiculous, unusual, idiotic—and yet I can't help it. I can't!"

Kyle looked at him cold and hard for a moment, then sighed. "It's not like I don't remember what that was like. It's actually just what I was afraid of, to be honest. That she finds somebody and moves away and I lose my little girl…she used to be so little. God, she's grown up, hasn't she? And there's no use fighting it, is there?"

"The window's open. That'd be a bloody way to end this."

"But then some other punk would take your place. No, that's not a solution."

Orland didn't know if he should be worried that Kyle almost seemed as if he had actually considered it as a viable solution at some point. It was one of those things that was probably best left forgotten lest it keep you up at night.

"You—you can see, Aria. As long as you remember your place," Kyle said, pointing a finger. "And remember that she always…_always _has me right there with farming implements of death."

"I'll try to avoid those."

After an awkward moment of silence, Aria burst into the room and nearly tackled Orland to the floor. "Daddy, thank you. Thank you so much," she said. "And I really like you too, Orland. I do."

"Did you just hear everything?" Orland said.

"Yeah. I did."

Kyle sighed heavily again, walked out the room and left them alone.  
Aria blinked. "Did my father just…?"

"I think he did."

It was a little shocking for them both to find that she had her arms wrapped around him. She blushed.

Strangely, he found himself kissing her and not wanting to let go.

"God, Aria, you're such a distraction," he said, but he still hadn't let her go.

"I know! But the books aren't nearly as interesting!"

"No, not really. Not at all." He sort of stroked her cheek awkwardly. She had soft skin for a girl who was knocked on the head by monsters on a daily basis.

She only smiled that brilliant little smile of hers.

Times were destined to be interesting for the both of them.

Kyle came walking into Douglass's store, his head down. "Douglass, I turn in my father card. I'm not worthy any more."

"What happened?"

"I'm letting my daughter date."

Douglass raised his eyebrows. "Really?"

"Yes, Orland. She's dating Orland."

"You're a horrible father."

"I know."

"I revoke your right to make earthquakes."

"I'll miss them. They were almost like friends to me."

And then Kyle left the store.

At home, Kyle put the hammer of boy-smashing away, tore up his father card and found his wife in the kitchen.

"Oh, Kyle!" she said, smiling from the table.

"Hey, Ceci. Is it my turn to cook tonight?"

But she didn't answer and was looking distractedly into the distance.

"Ceci? Ceci!"

"Huh? Oh. I'm sorry. I was just thinking."

He set down at the rickety old table next to her. "How about you tell me all about it then?"

"It's just…Jake visited today. He seemed a bit…well, calm. It was so strange."

"Jake visited? Jake was _here? _And you didn't slam the door in his face why?"

"Kyle! Jake is my friend."

"Yeah, well, why would he be here anyway?"

"He just wanted to let me know that he—that everything was okay. He wanted to know if I was happy. I said yes, of course, and said that he was content to see me happy." She didn't tell him everything, however. Especially how just before Jake left, he had hugged her tight. It wasn't that she regretted marrying Kyle or was discontent with her current life. It was just the moment had made her realize how easily things could have been different. How she could have been happy with Jake. But then Kyle wouldn't have been happy…Either way, someone lost something. It made her sad just thinking about it.

"That's all?" Kyle said, leaning forward.

"Yes. That was it. He left afterwards."

"Ceci, you know I love." He said. "I really do. I don't say it enough sometimes because I sometimes take it for granted, but I really do love you."

Cecilia smiled gently. "It's all right, Kyle. I know. I've never really doubted it…"

"You've never doubted marrying me, have you?"

She looked at him, shocked. There was nothing to really say to that, so she simply jumped out of her chair and into his arms. "Nope. Never," she whispered into his ear.

"Ick," somebody said from the door. "Gushy stuff."

It was Aria coming in. She whistled a tune as she skipped upstairs, barely greeting her parents.

Cecilia kissed his forehead and stood up. "My, she's happy, isn't she?"

"She's dating."

"Oh? Who?"

"Orland."

For only a few moments she looked off-balance before she regained her composure. "And you are allowing this?"

"…yes. I guess I am."

"Kyle, I'm so proud of you. You're finally letting Aria grow up and become a woman!"  
"Hey, what's with this woman stuff? She's fifteen, for crying out loud! And I don't like any of this but I'll tolerate it."

"How about I make a cake to celebrate?"

"I could never refuse that."

"I've always wanted a chubby husband," she continued, grinning. "You're too skinny."

"Okay, you just said the one thing in the world that might make me turn down cake."

She laughed and became busy cooking in the kitchen. A while later the cake was done, Aria had come downstairs and everyone began to enjoy the meal.

XXX

Well, that ends that. Kyle has accepted, Jake has accepted—there's nothing holding back Aria and Orland now. Oh, well, except a wedding. Actually, I just might right a wedding one-shot to please the raging fangirl in me. Of course, Orland and Aria would be older, Kyle would probably cry, Ceci would have to comfort him, Douglass would shake his head because Kyle fails at fatherhood and Jake would be in some dark corner doing whatever Jake does in dark corners. And then there would be babies, lots of little babies. The whole world will soon be filled with Orland and Aria's babies.

BTW, Review, please, and make any requests you want for the wedding one-shot. If you have any ideas for future one-shots, go ahead and run them by me.


	7. The Super Awesome Proposal

The Super Awesome Proposal

"Hey, Orland," Aria said.

He looked up at her, bored. He had been staring out the window only moments before, pondering all the things he saw. "Yes?"

"Where do you see our, you know, relationship going?"

"What are you talking about?" He said sharply.

"I mean, people are beginning to talk." She looked worried. "About us, you know. They don't think we're going anywhere. And I'm turning twenty-one soon and so are you…and a lot of girls get marr—"

"Don't say it."

"Married by this time. Not that I want to get married…now. It's just…"

"Since when did you care what people think? Aren't you happy?"

She sighed. His voice was sharp but she understood it had more to do with fear and uncertainty—two things Orland simply could not stand—than actual hatred. But still, this topic was something she had been pondering a long time, ever since she had first heard the whispers and rumors going around town. Something had kept her silent all this time, however, not voicing her fears to him, keeping it all inside, but she had to face the music sometime. It seemed almost as if he were content to this casual sort of non-relationship for the rest of his life.

"I am happy," she said.

"Then what's the problem?"

"Forget I said anything then. It doesn't matter."

And she said nothing more. But for the next month she would periodically bring the topic up again. Finally, tired of hinting and prodding, she said straightforwardly "Look, why won't you let us go any further? Would it really be that much different? I mean, we've been dating for how many years?"

"That's not a problem."

"Then what is?"

"Nothing is. There is no problem. Now can we stop talking about this?"

"I think something's wrong. Come on, you can tell me." She looked at him with those big brown eyes of hers and it took everything in his power to not give in and marry her on the spot. Frankly the effect she had on him frightened him.

"Because," he said.

"Because why?"

"Because-because you're a human. No matter what you do or who you are YOU'RE HUMAN."

Aria stood stiff, shocked to silence.

"And it's fine for you to be with other humans. Humans deserve one another." His gaze avoided her, as if he couldn't even stand to look her in the eye. "Our relationship is fine as it is, all right? I don't need to be getting too attached to you, because—" He made a face, not wanting to continue.

"Why? Why on earth would you not want to get 'too attached'? What does that mean anyway?"

"Because humans are fickle…they're there one moment, gone the next. It's no use. Our relationship is fine. But don't fool yourself into thinking it has a future."

"You really believe that, don't you?"

He didn't answer.

"Well, there's not much else to say, is there now? I'm too human and you're too elf so of course that means there can never be anything between us. Gods, you're such a fool, Orland."

"It's just how things have to be. The natural order."

"Huh? That's not natural. Love's natural. Building stupid barriers between you and your friends isn't. I have elf blood, too, or did you forget that?"

"Not enough."

"Oh, so we're going to quantify it now? How much blood exactly do I need before you'll accept me?" She sighed. "Let's not start a fight. You won't accept me for what and who I am so why bother? Have a nice day, Orland."

She knew very well he would spend the rest of the day alone amid books, parchment, words while every one else was far away outside enjoying themselves.

With one hurt look, she walked away.

He stood there, very alone, feeling as if someone had wrenched all the feeling out of him. He had done what needed to be done, said all that needed to be said; no more or less.

_At least I'll be able to study now without distraction_, he thought, but it felt bitter. From then all out, studying would be all he had.

But what difference would it make? She was fun and cheerful and sociable; she had so many friends she could barely remember all of their names. He knew she would move on, find someone else, someone better than him. She would be happier.

He ran upstairs to his room and sat at his desk where papers and several open books were strewn. Here he had all the time in the world to become the best, the greatest, the absolute pinnacle of what a person had any right to be.

Clearing all else from his mind, he studied feverishly, rapidly going page after page with focus and ferocity usually reserved for warriors.

Only when the light filtering through the window became dim did he stop.

In the little room, with all its silence, its dimness, its emptiness, all was ever more lonesome.

He had all the time in the world. And he was all alone.

And he didn't like either very much at all.

XXX

Aria came into the house, banging the door behind her and stomping towards the refrigerator.

Cecilia, sitting at the table, looked up immediately when she heard the door slam. It was her day off from work (she needed some time off, anyway, from cleaning up Max's dirty socks).

"Aria?" She said.

"We have any ice cream?"

"Why?"

"Because I just really need some."

"It's bad for your waist line," she joked.

"I just NEED ice cream."

"Why? Are you depressed?"

"No, I just need something to do other than murder."

"Uh oh." Cecilia went over to her daughter and rested a hand on her shoulder. "I know that look. Boy troubles."

"It's just…It's over, mama." Aria frowned. "I guess I'm just going to have to deal with it in my own way…"

"By loading up on calories?"

"No, that's just because I'm hungry." Aria removed a carton of ice cream from the fridge and ate it whole. "I'm going to deal with the boy problem like I deal with everything else."

"Honey, you know what I've told you about brute force."

Aria giggled. "But brute force is the most fun way to do anything!"

XXX

At exactly 4 o'clock pm on a Tuesday Kyle leveled up from overprotective dad to avenging father. The event was heralded by a series of earthquakes, the sky turning red and all the milk in Kardia curdling in the cartons.

Actually, that's a lie. But there was a lot of yelling and stomping.

"Knew that kid was no good," Kyle muttered, pulling Aaron along by the hand down the path leading into town. Aaron had been born exactly six years before. Aria had been ecstatic to have a little brother (finally!).

Being winter, there was a light brush of snow on the ground. It was just nippy enough that Cecilia had forced Aaron to wear enough coats that he could roll through the town.

"Dad! I can't walk!"

"It's your mother's fault. I have nothing to do with it."

Indeed, Aaron should have counted his blessings. At the very least he could talk. Kyle had just managed to convince Ceci not to mangle their son with scarves (very girly pink scarves, which had once been Aria's, and would have screwed Aaron's gender identity all to hell).

"Dad! I'm hungry."

"Silence, son. This is for your own good. Remember this when you have daughters of your own. Except DON'T HAVE THEM TOO SOON. There are too many pregnant teenagers around in this world…"

"How do you have babies?"

"What did your mother tell you?"

"That you grow them in the cabbage patch."

"Uh, yeah, we'll go with that."

After a few moments, Aaron said again, "Who are we going to kill today?"

"Your sister's no-good ex-boyfriend."

"I want a girlfriend."

"Son, don't you understand?"

Aaron nodded, hoping agreement would be enough to stop Kyle's ranting before it began. Even at his tender age, Aaron knew all-too-well his father's habit of going off into near-incomprehensible and unstoppable tangents that threatened to blow anyone who listened over. Aaron still remembered a rant his father had gone into over Aaron's "over-use of diapers".

"The day you get a girlfriend is the day you have to bury your mother. They thought I was bad…ha ha ha. Wait until you see your mother's earthquakes. Hell hath no fury… Besides, girls are horrible creatures. They come with—with suitors, otherwise known as rivals. Stay away from them."

"Dad?"

"You never know when you'll come across an announcement on the bulletin board challenging you to some dumb duel over something stupid because your rival is moronic and small and has something to prove and has a chip on his shoulder and is an idiotic _pretty-boy half-elf_ whose after your wife…and the point, son, is that girls are evil. So, no, you can't have a girlfriend."

"Oh. Can I have a boyfriend?"

"What has your mother done to you? (NOT THAT THERE'S ANYTHING WRONG WITH THAT)"

Finally, they came to the inn. "Egan," Kyle said. "Where's Orland?"

"He's out. What do you need to see him for?" Egan said, looking only slightly worried.

"Just about very general things," Kyle replied.

"I don't know where he is. That boy just waltzed out of here without saying anything to me."

"Boy just saved his own life…for now…" Kyle muttered.

"WHAT DID YOU SAY, DAD?"

"Nothing, son."

XXXX

Orland sat on a bench in the park, angsting like the depressed half-elf he was. He had been having trouble studying because he had this empty feeling in his stomach. He couldn't get his mind off of his break-up.

He sighed.

Cammy noticed him sitting there alone and felt sorry for him so she sat next to him.

"Where's Aria?" The only reason he ever bothered coming out into public and socializing was because of her, which was why it was so weird to see him without her.

"Isn't Roy waiting for you to crawl under some god-forsaken rock that you two call a 'love nest'?"

"I told him I'd be home later. But looks like you're all alone."

"I don't care."

"No?"

"I could care less if Aria decided to fall off the face of the world if that's what you're wondering. You can disappear now."

"Sorry, Orland, you're going to have to deal with real human contact for a few more minutes. So, what happened? Did Aria fall in love with someone capable of kindness and run off and get married?"

"No."

"What?"

"I broke up with her. Now go away."

"Why?"

"Because I did, all right? And that's the end of it. That's it. Now _go away._" He turned his face away, gritting his teeth, as talking about the "break-up" made him feel as if someone had punched him in the gut.

"What a surprise." She sighed. "You know, Orland, your basic problem is that you're scared of getting close to people. The moment you even sense someone might make you 'vulnerable' you freak out and close down. It's why it's impossible for you to have friends. How is it that Aria seemed to deal with it? I don't know. But she did. She brought out the best in you. Thanks for ruining that and leaving the rest of us with your annoying attitude problem. For everyone's sake, I hope you crawl on your hands and knees back to Aria."

Orland made a face.

"I'm serious. So what excuse did you come up with to run her off?"

"I just didn't feel like dating. That's all."

"Is that it? Well, prepared to be alone for the rest of your life." Cammy stood up.

She was about to leave when Orland said, his voice low, "…she wouldn't take me back, anyway…"

"Orland, we are talking about _Aria. _She has such a short attention span she can't hold a grudge for more than five minutes. All it takes is for you to get off your whiny half-elf butt and ask her."

"As if I would do that…" Orland said. In his mind, however, he was already envisioning himself going back and asking her.

"Yeah." Cammy looked at him with unaccustomed sympathy. "Look, if you'd just let people get near you, you'd be a lot happier. Now you think on that. I have to run. Roy's waiting." Indeed, she did run off in direction of her home, leaving Orland to contemplate what she had said.

He knew what he had to do so he stood up and made his way to Aria's house, hoping for the best.

As he knocked on the door, praying for his life, it opened.

It was Kyle.

They stared at each other awkwardly.

Kyle reached for the hammer of boy-smashing.

Orland prayed harder.

Until Ceci broke in and stopped the madness.

"Orland, what could you be doing here?" She said. She glared at Kyle in a way that made him immediately toss the hammer down.

"I'm here to see Aria."

"I'll send her outside…" She eyed Orland carefully. "I'll let you two settle your own affairs. And that means you too, Kyle."

"But Ceci!"

"No buts!"

She closed the door.

A few moments later the door opened, this time with Aria standing there.

"Oh. You. Hi," she said.

"Yeah…" He wasn't quite sure what to say. All he knew is that she was watching him expectantly, her lip slightly pursed.

"I'm sorry." He barely managed to get the words out.

"I'm sure you are," she said, not quite bitterly, but definitely unhappily.

"Look, I've been informed that I don't do well on my own. I sort of need you there to balance me out. I know I'm not the nicest person in the world."

He grabbed her arms and pulled her close enough that he could look into her eyes.

"But, Aria, I really do need you."

Suddenly Aria burst out laughing and threw her arms around him. "Oh, Orland, of course you need me. I'm so glad you realize that now."

At first he was shocked but then he returned the embrace. "I think I'll need you forever."

Aria blinked. "Well, yeah, you'll need me forever. I'm not leaving, am I?"

He broke the embrace, stepped back, and rubbed the back of his head. "That's not what I meant…I mean…uh. What the hell do I mean?"

"I don't know."

"I mean maybe we should—get married."

Aria was taken aback with such shock she nearly fell over. "But I thought you hated marriage?"

"Maybe it wouldn't be so horrible if it was to you."

"Really?"

"Why would I lie?"

What commenced was a lot of romantic face-sucking.

Or so you would think. If only little Aaron hadn't come running out the door, stuffed rabbit in hand, and stared at them.

"What, Aaron?" Aria said.

Orland just grimaced. His being anywhere near children made him break into a rash. Yes, it was an allergy; an allergy to children.

"Dad sent me," he said. "He wanted me to watch for any signs of hanky panky. Do you know what that is? Are you doing it now?"

"He sent you?" Aria said.

"He said my natural cuteness will protect me. And he said mama won't stop me if I go out here."

"Wanna know something cool, Aaron, that you can go tell daddy?"

"Wha?"

"I'm getting married!"

Aaron seemed unfazed. "What's that?"

"It's a sign of true love," Aria said, so excited she was practically jumping for joy. "Just go tell daddy."

"I already know." It was Kyle's voice, seemingly coming from above them. They all looked up to see Kyle leaning from the second story window. "You better be good to her, Orland, or PAIN AND MISERY WILL COMMENCE!"

"I'll help!" Aaron piped, not knowing what pain and misery meant but knowing if his father said it, it must be good.

"Kids…" Orland said.

"You're a good son," Kyle yelled down before he stuck his head back inside and screamed to Cecilia. "Ceci, your daughter's getting married!"

Almost immediately the door burst open and Ceci nearly tackled her daughter with a hug. "We'll have to start planning immediately! Julia and Rosalind and I can help with the dress! We'll have to bake a cake…a beautiful large cake! Oh my! This is so exciting! We'll invite everyone!"

"Errr…" Orland said, uncomfortable with all the attention his half-assed proposal was receiving.

During all this, Kyle had enough time to go outside with the rest of them.

"Jake is going to hate me for this," He said. "What type of karmic justice is this, I wonder? Well, Aria, looks like you're finally…marrying." Kyle frowned. "It's a lot of responsibility."

"I know, dad, but somehow I feel like I can handle it," she said, smiling. "Besides, I'm twenty-one. Everybody was starting to wonder why I wasn't married. I guess I proved those gossips wrong."

Cecilia was still caught up in the wedding-high. "Oh, Orland, do you have anyone to give you a tux?"

"No."

"Don't worry then, dear, I can find the perfect one for you! I'll get Yue to order it from the city…same for your dress, Aria!"

"Actually," Kyle said. "I think he should wear the incredibly stupid wedding outfit I had to wear to our wedding. You know the one with the embarrassing hat? Wouldn't that be perfect?"

Cecilia gave him a flat look. "No, he'll wear the best tux I can possibly find! Gordon only made you wear the hat because he wanted a reason to laugh at you."

"Hey, woman, it's tradition that the groom should get laughed at horribly! This is Kardia! Grooms are extraneous!"

"Great…" Orland moaned.

"You won't ruin this for me, Kyle," Cecilia said. "I've been waiting years for this. And you won't get anal and over-protective about it. Everything will be perfect. Now everyone go inside and get washed-up. Dinner is almost ready. I've probably already burnt it. And, Orland, you might as well stay for some dinner. You need to know what a proper family meal is like now that you're marrying my daughter!"

"Would you stop saying that as if it's a good thing?" Kyle said.

Cecilia shot him a look that made him immediately shut up.

"I might as well," Orland said with a shrug, but he stared uneasily at Kyle, who was glaring back at him.

Kyle seemed to mouth these words at him: hammer of boy-smiting.

But, anyway, they enjoyed a very pleasant dinner.

XXXX

Next chapter is guaranteed to have less dwama and more humor. What is the next chapter? It's the SUPER AWESOME WEDDING CHAPTER. It is so awesome I simply must abuse CAPS-LOCK.


	8. The Super Awesome Wedding

This chapter is long. I figured it would be all right considering this is the SUPER AWESOME WEDDING chapter. Anyway, Enjoy, Review and Read!

X

The wedding almost didn't take place.

The bride had completely destroyed her dress. Actually, to be truthful, that's just an exaggeration. Some of the ruffling was undone at the bottom, some of the lace was loose and the hem had a few spots of dirt, but none of it seemed to be that big of a deal.

Aria was not used to walking in a wedding dress. So when she ran home to make sure the monsters were locked up in the shed, she had tripped. It was an accident.

And then Julia and Rosalind caught sight of it and all hell broke loose.

"Look what you did to the most beautiful dress ever!" Julia said.

"Um, what?" Aria said, looking down.

"We have an hour before the ceremony," she continued. "Just an hour to fix this…Can we do it, Rosalind?"

Rosalind examined the situation. "Perhaps. But we'll have to be very quick about it."

They attacked the dirt stains on the dress with ferocity typically reserved for battles. Aria just stood there confused. With some tucking and adjusting the dress was somehow fixed.

It was a great relief to everyone. If the dress had been irrevocably damaged…well, Julia might have thrown the bride out the window and walked the dress down the aisle.

Strangely, Aria had the distinct feeling that she was the dress's accessory rather than the other way around.

When Julia heard about the wedding, she had practically demanded to be the one who handled the dress. Cecilia, not wanting to be pummeled for saying no, let her take care of the matter. And, of course, every dress Julia picked out was unbelievably expensive.

"How much money!?" Kyle had said when he found out how much the dress cost.

"But it makes up for it in beauty! Look at that delicate lace pattern, the rare and beautiful—"

"I am not spending that much money for delicate, beautiful lace whatever."

"Patterns, Kyle. Man, don't you even keep up with fashion?"

"Julia, come on. I'm a dirt farmer. What do you think? And as a dirt farmer with no appreciation for fashion, I say hell no to delicate lace patterns. I'll use a freaking potato sack if I have to."

"It's your daughter's wedding!"

"Please…don't remind…me." Kyle went to cry alone in the other room. The argument ended, and Julia went ahead and bought the beautiful dress with the delicate lace patterns.

Of course, it also helped that Rosalind stepped in and offered to pay for a portion of the costs. But it mostly helped that Kyle was too busy staring at a wall and wondering what he had done wrong for his daughter to marry some jerk-hole elf to notice.

Meanwhile, at the inn, the groom underwent his own preparation for the wedding. Gordon made sure Orland's sacred wedding vestments were in place. Jake helped somewhat, but his attention was muted. Whereas Gordon talked so much Orland wanted to jump out the window, Jake talked very little.

Gordon found only one thing missing from Orland's super-special wedding attire: the super-special wedding hat. Yes, that hat. That horrible, horrible hat.

"Sorry," Gordon said. "I simply won't allow you into the church until you wear the sacred hat! No hat, no wedding."

"Can we just not and say we did?" Orland said.

"What is this nonsense? Of course we can't!"

"Oh fantastic…"

He put the hat on Orland's head and proclaimed, "There you go, son. Now I can laugh at you! HAHAHAHA"

The laughter was so epic it did irreparable damage to Orland's ego.

Somebody kill me, was Orland's only thought.

"Now, son, I have to go and make sure everything is all right with the bride. Try not to kill yourself or strangle yourself with the hat or anything. I'll be back in a few moments."

When Gordon left, the most awkward moment in history ensued. Jake and Orland just sat there in silence, not sure what to say to each other.

Orland threw the hat on the table and sat in a chair. He had to admit he spent next to no time with his father. When he was younger his father was just a person he happened to see every once in a while. He mostly spent his time with Yue. Egan tried to socialize with him, but Orland got the impression that Egan simply didn't understand him.

Finally Jake spoke. "Why are you marrying that girl? What's the appeal?"

"What brought on this question?"

"I'm curious as to why you like her. I just don't understand it."

"What exactly is wrong with her?"

"She's a little human…and plain."

Orland rolled his eyes. "And her father is Kyle and you hate Kyle. I know. Honestly, can't you just let me be happy about something without trying to damper it? What is with you and melancholy?"

Jake didn't speak. He looked at the ground, frowning.

"She told me you said it was all right for us to marry," Orland continued. "Are you having second thoughts?"

"What I said was that I wouldn't stop you two. Never did I say I understood any of this in the slightest."

"Of course you don't." Orland leaned back in his chair. "You just don't understand anything about happiness, do you?"

"I've been happy," Jake said.

"But your default mood is just damn bitterness."

"What if it is? What difference does it make? You'll be happy with this girl and whatever I feel won't matter. Why you like _that _girl I still can't imagine."

_That_ girl was the only thing that connected Orland to the rest of the world. _That _girl was the only thing that kept him from devolving into some sort of shelled-in anti-social maniac. _That _girl was the only thing he enjoyed. It was that cheery, clumsy girl who had saved him from a life of loneliness.

Once he had pursued greatness. Now that he thought back on all that, he realized he would never be happy with just greatness. No matter how great and superior he was to everyone else, he would never be great enough. He would always restlessly be searching to be even greater, yet never achieve it.

At first, he wasn't sure how to deal with his feelings for her. So he did what he always did: tried building a wall. She ripped that metaphorical wall down.

When they first got together, he was frightened. Eventually things settled down into a comfortable, casual if dead-end relationship. It was only when he sensed things were getting serious did he freak out and try to break up with her. It didn't work, because he discovered he didn't like being cut-off from the rest of humanity. She was his only link to the outside world.

Now that he was happier, he saw his father more clearly for what he was: a weary man who had given up on life a long time ago.

How close he had come to being just like him.

The silence continued.

Orland picked up some random book of Gordon's and pretended to read it.

He was mildly surprised when Jake said, very softly, "…love tends to end in tears. Despite what you may think, it's a bitter, lonesome thing. It often fails and when it does, there's nothing worse. No matter what, somebody gets hurt. Are-do you want that, Orland? Could you handle the years of unhappiness and sadness and…and anger and frustration when it fails? Could you?"

Orland looked up from his book. His father stared at the ground, arms crossed. He looked tragic, somehow.

"There was someone, wasn't there? You've never told me anything about my mother," Orland said.

"Your mother is insignificant. I never cared for her, I barely knew her and I didn't love her."

"…oh, well." Orland wasn't sure what else to say. He didn't even know or really care about the woman-who-was-his-mother and that still hurt.

Jake shrugged. "That's not who I loved anyway. Your mother was just a replacement for her."

"Did you ever consider that it's not love's fault you're unhappy? Maybe it's you."

Jake didn't reply.

"You're destroying yourself over something you can't even change," Orland continued.

Another moment of silence, before Jake said, his voice hard, "I just want you to consider what love really means before you jump head-long into something you won't be able to get out of. That's all I have to say. Enjoy your wedding day." Usually when somebody said 'enjoy your wedding day' it was not said as if it were some kind of curse. Jake was not just anybody, however. He could say "happy birthday" and make it sound like a soul-sucking pit of despair from which there was no return.

Orland couldn't wait for Gordon to come back. Compared to his father's silence, Gordon's prattling and epic laughter was music.

As time passed the room felt stuffier. There were no signs of Gordon returning, so Orland left the room and went to the front chapel, where he sat in a pew and brooded.

X

Orland had no idea why Leonel had decided to arrive early to the wedding. None of the other guests were there and wouldn't be arriving for a few minutes.

"Wow, Orland. That's a nice hat. Where'd you get it?"

Leonel was not being sarcastic. He really did like Orland's hat. Why? Because Leonel had no taste in hats. He wore a feather cap that most people would run from. He liked Orland's hat. That boded very badly.

"You'd be doing me a favor if you didn't acknowledge the hat's existence."

"But it's right there on your head! How can anyone miss it?"

"Use your imagination. Pretend my head is completely hat-free," Orland said.

"It's a great hat. I don't know what you're so ashamed of."

Orland didn't feel like talking anymore.

"Hey, I'm thinking about getting married." Leonel sat down next to Orland in the pew.

"Huh?" He was genuinely surprised. He didn't even know Leonel liked anyone.

"I'm going to ask them to marry me tomorrow. Won't they be thrilled!?"

"I didn't know gay marriage was even allowed," Orland said. "As far as I've read it's illegal everywhere but the capital."

"Wait—what?" Leonel's face contorted as he tried to catch on to Orland's logic. "No, no, no! It's a girl!"

"Who's a girl?"

"She's a girl! The _girl _I'm going to ask to marry me who is _female_, who has _female _parts and who is not a man, boy or dude!"

"And you know she has female parts how…?"

"Inconsequential!"

"Yes, well, this is going to shock the town," Orland said.

"Why does everyone assume I'm gay?"

Orland looked flatly at Leonel. He would say it was Leonel's flowing blonde locks or smooth features, but instead decided to say, "I have no idea."

"Is it because of the way I look? It's my hair, isn't it? Well, your hair is long, too!"

"Yes, but in a manly way. You just have girl hair."

Leonel sighed. "My dad told me everyone assumed Ray was gay, too. But then he married a hot, rich girl and people shut up."

"That just means you have a find a rich, attractive girl, convince her you're not gay and then marry her."

"I already have! It's Leann. I hope she accepts my proposal."

Orland blinked, again surprised. "How will you manage to convince _Leann _to accept anything from you?"

"Did anyone tell you you're really derogatory? Especially considering the fact that you managed to get _anyone _to marry you. You're kind of an ass. Er, no offense."

"I know. I'm just thankful she hasn't figured it out yet."  
"Trust me, Aria knows. Why she's still marrying you…to be honest, it has the whole town kind of confused. Then again, your relationship has confused people from the beginning. The fact it has managed to last so long…Well, I hope it works out for you two. I really do."

Orland was about to respond, but Gordon burst in through the front doors of the church. Rather than use just one door, Gordon threw them both open. It was very unnecessary. Then again Gordon was an unnecessary person.

"All right, get in starting positions," He said, his voice booming. "We have a wedding that's about to begin. Oh, you!" He pointed at Orland. "Groom-boy! You're coming with me."

Aria tried sidling through the door behind Gordon, but he pushed her back. "Not yet! Not yet! Groom can't see the bride and all that business. And Kyle!" He yelled out the door to someone Orland couldn't see. "You stay out here until it starts. No, it doesn't start right now! And for the love of god, Ceci, get that man a tissue!"

Orland was slightly dazed as Gordon pulled him to the same back room he had been in earlier. He noticed his father was gone. He briefly wondered if Jake would show up for the wedding at all.

Gordon quickly and thoroughly explained to Orland what exactly would happen during the wedding and what he was to do. From the way Gordon acted, he could tell the man had more experience with weddings than anyone ever, ever should.

"Any questions?" Gordon said.

"No."

"Good. Because I have no time to answer them. I have to make sure your wedding isn't going to fall apart in a great flaming blast of failure. Hey, groom-boy, don't look so scared! This is only the single most important decision of your life. A decision that could make you miserable for eternity if you screw up. So no worries." He slapped Orland on the back in a way that was intended to be friendly but came off as deadly.

"Owww," Orland said. The slap had knocked his hat off. He bent to pick it up.

"Be a man and suck it up."

"Just because I'm a man doesn't mean I don't have nerve endings…god, my back feels numb."

"Get over it, son. Now let me tell you about marriage."

"I honestly don't want to hear anything you say about marriage," Orland said.

Gordon laughed. "Yes, yes you do. Say, are you looking forward to the wedding night?"

Orland's eye twitched. Gordon was the absolute last person on earth to discuss that sort of thing with. Orland would rather grab a cold beer, sit down with Fiersome and discuss his wedding night than talk to Gordon about it. "There's no point to this, is there? You're just going to ramble at me endlessly until I tear my elfish ears off."

"Don't be sarcastic. This is important. Anyway, wedding nights are fun. The best thing ever. Guess what? It's the only good thing about marriage. From then on it becomes a long, torturous slog through hell. There will be nagging, nit-picking and resentment and yelling…But look on the bright side! Your spouse will have to die sometime! Say, are you nervous yet?"

"I wasn't before you started talking."

"Don't worry. I do that to all the grooms. Gets them every time!" Gordon said, epic-ly laughing as usual.

Orland wondered whether he was a sadist.

"Now wait right here until I send someone to get you," Gordon said.

After Gordon left, Orland waited for what seemed to be an eternity. He flipped through Gordon's assorted religious books, hoping to suffuse his nervousness.

Never, ever had he been this nervous in his life.

He remembered a conversation he had with Aria a week ago.

"Remember when we pretended to get married?" she had said.

"I seem to also remember you marrying everyone short of Cammy and Leann…"

"Well, it was fun."

"Fun for you, maybe. I remember hating that harem of yours…"

She watched him side-long. "I kinda really only wanted to marry you though…I guess I get my wish now!"

"To be honest, I wouldn't be surprised if you turn around and marry the whole town."

"Polygamy was sort of interesting." She smiled. "I'm just kidding."

"I still can't believe you married Roy. Even if it was a pretend wedding."

"What's wrong with Roy?"

"Nothing, except the fact he's an annoying, idiotic, hyperactive pest who couldn't sit still for longer than ten seconds before he bursting into flames…"

She looked at him knowingly. "Yes, because we all know you have absolutely NO quirks that offend people. You're simply a shining example of a person that nobody can attain! There is no reason for anyone to dislike you! You're especially not arrogant or rude." She poked him playfully in the side.

"You're just jealous of my greatness. I am the most intelligent person I know."

"It's true! I've always yearned to be just like you." She broke into laughter. "I wish I could be as _humble _as you."

"Yes, well, you're clumsy."

She shrugged. "I can get away with it because I'm cute and lovable." She paused. "Hey, do you remember when you told me you didn't hate me? As if you could hate me! I knew what you really meant." With a smile she had grabbed his arm and invited him to hug her.

He acted annoyed, but gladly wrapped his arms around her. "I'll say what I couldn't say then. I do like you. I do."

She laughed, her face against his chest. "That's not the 'L' word I'm looking for. But I guess it'll do."

It had been some time after that conversation that he had felt the full impact of his situation. He was getting married. It wasn't pretend this time. Of course, intellectually, he already knew that. What we know intellectually, however, we don't always fully realize emotionally. The realization had made him jittery.

He jumped when he heard the wedding music begin to play in the chapel.

Cecilia appeared in the doorway. "It's time!" she said.

As she led him to the chapel, she began to speak. "Just take care of her, now. She's not a very careful person. Usually I'm the one who watches out for her…but I suppose I won't have to be worrying about that anymore, will I?" She bent her head down a bit, smiling sadly.

"It might not mean much," he said. "But I'll try…"

"You'll do a fine job, I'm sure."

In the chapel he saw the usual crowd of people who showed up at weddings.

Leonel was there. He had an arm around Leann's waist in a way that said "Look! I'm not gay! I'm metrosexual!"

Even his father had bothered to show up.

Standing in front of the altar, he saw Aria for the first time that day. She was lovely. It made him pause for a second in shock. Normally her hair was a mess and her clothes were in disarray. She was cute no matter what but today she was beautiful. It was quite a change. Then again, he liked how she looked no matter what was caked on her clothes (most likely blood or mud or god knows what else. The girl was a warrior and farmer, after all) or how her hair looked.

She bit her lip. "I can't stop shaking," she whispered.

"I know," he whispered back.

The music still played around them. Everyone's eyes were on them.

He seemed to remember vows being exchanged but he was in such a daze that all he could remember was the kiss that followed. Everyone clapped.

Except Kyle who was too busy trying to pass his tears off as watery eyes.

The wedding wasn't over just yet, however.

What commenced was one of the most soul-sucking, horrible traditions in Kardia. Everybody in town came up and was supposed to congratulate the newlyweds. That rarely, rarely happened. What usually ensued were bitter rivals threatening bodily harm, angry fathers threatening the groom…well, there was a lot of threats going around period.

Kyle was first. "So, Orland, you and my daughter. You and my baby girl." He inhaled loudly. "You and my little angel."

Orland was getting a bit intimidated.

"Well, take care of her," Kyle said. "I guess, she won't need me anymore. At least I still have your brother, Aria."

Aria suddenly hugged her father. "We're not moving away! We'll be really close by! And I'll visit twice a day."

"How about three times a day?"

Personally, Orland didn't want to visit even once a day. He'd be happy if they never visited Kyle. There were only so many murderous glares a half-elf could take.

"Take care of her," Kyle said to Orland. This time he sounded slightly less like he wanted to kill Orland with a rusty ho. It was almost an improvement.

"Don't forget to come home, sweetie," Cecilia said, holding Aaron by his hand.

"I'll miss you!" Aaron piped. His adorableness was through the roof.

By the buffet, Tanya had been inhaling the alcohol by the gallon. Now she and her son were next in line to congratulate the happy couple.

Tanya had a very unconventional congratulations.

"WooOOOoooOOO! I love weddings! Free alcohol! Man, my head feels weird and I DON'T CARE!" She staggered. "More beer, more grog, more fuuuuun! F-U-N! Oh, and congrats on your eternal love and stuff. Now back to the whole reason for my existing!"

"Mom, you're scaring people," Roy said. "And congrats and everything, Aria and…Orland. Here's to many long good--O GODS, PUT THE SWORD DOWN! PUT IT DOWN NOW! Mom, no, you can't practice drunken swordsmanship! Haven't I told you that before? And where did you get that sword anyway? Didn't I already take it away from you?!"

"I found it somewhere! It just livens up the party, is all! Sharp pointy beautiful objects! Everyone after me. S-H-A-R-P!"

"Maybe you should lie down or something, mom…" Roy said.

After them, was Cammy.

"Aria, you're finally married!" Cammy said. "Knew it'd happen sooner or later. Good thing you got off your whiny half-elf butt and let it happen, eh, Orland?" she winked.

Then came Jake. He had very little to actually say beyond congratulations.

"I suppose I should say congratulations…son," He said.

"Yeah. Thanks," Orland said.

They sort of stared at each other uncomfortably. It was probably the kindest thing Jake had ever said to him. And that fact was very, very sad.

Yue smiled when she came up to them.

"Aw, Orland, look at you. Finally grown up! I remember when you were little and your father would pay me fifty gold to change your diapers. Hmm…too bad you're all grown up now. You know, if you ever have kids, I'll still be around. I'd love to take your gold! And I'll even give you a discount. Only forty-five gold. How can you refuse my offer?"

"No," he said flatly. "I hate kids."

Aria rolled her eyes.

"Seriously. Children give me a rash."

Somehow Kyle overheard them. "B-babies?!" Came his anguished cry. "Ceci, hold me! I'm about to faint."

"Oh, Kyle, please don't have a heart attack or anything," Cecilia said.

"Don't die, daddy!" Aaron said.

Gordon and Dougless took this moment to approach Kyle.

"Ha ha ha. I laugh at your tears, Kyle!" Gordon said.

"I double-laugh at your tears!" said Douglass.

Then they left. Apparently they only wanted to mock Kyle to death. Douglass never liked Kyle. When he was a bachelor, Kyle was something of a flirt and Douglass' daughter was one of his many targets. Now that Kyle had a daughter and was suffering from severe father sorrow, Douglass made it his mission in life to rub it in Kyle's face.

Gordon just liked laughing at people.

After every one had talked to the couple, the party began.

"You know, I've never had alcohol," Aria said. "And I'm of age and everything!"

"I really don't think you should start now," Orland said.

"I'll only drink a little bit," she said dismissively. "Just to get an idea of what it's like."

"You know as well as I do you won't stop once you start. Just look at that shining example over there." He pointed to where Tanya was drinking next to a mortified and distressed Roy.

"Nonsense," she said and took a sip. "Oh, wow. That all just went to my head. Kind of…feels weird."

He watched helplessly as she drank three more glasses. On the fourth, he interceded but she fended him off and drank the glass in one gulp.

"What do you think you're doing?! This isn't the time to be raging drunk," he said.

"But it feels so good!" She giggled uncontrollably. "So…so awesome! I love thish!"

"The alcohol is already eroding your brain. You'll have nothing left by the end of the night. I'll be married to an alcohol-fueled zombie."

When she started feeling sick, he sighed and let her lean on his shoulder. They were like that the entire walk to the inn.

"Hey, handshome!" She said chirpily. "What do you shay you and me and we can have shome fun!"

"…that's not you talking. It's the alcohol."

"Come on! Let's do it!"

"Not while you reek of alcohol and have the mindset of a drunk monkey we won't."

"You're shright. I'm kinda shleepy anyway."

If he wasn't there, she would have passed on the floor. As it was, he managed to drag her to the bed and laid her down.

She sprawled on the bed so that there was no room for him. And he couldn't move or wake her.

He sighed and went to sleep in the chair.

_So much for the wedding night_, he thought.

X

All right, this is the end. Not that I won't write more on this, I may. It's just if I don't ever write more I won't feel as if I left this thing unfinished. If anyone has any suggestions to what I should write next, whether for this story or not, tell me! I might use them.

By the way, if anyone hasn't noticed, I'm awful at romance scenes. It's a sad weakness, I know. And don't even mention the word "lemon" to me…if I tried to write one blood would spurt out my ears. I really should write another one-shot to this story to amend for the lack of romantic fluff. Or find someone who can write romance…I would love to see someone write a cute romantic scene between Aria and Orland. Dear lord knows I couldn't do one for myself. Every time I try to write a romantic scene my fingers curl and my eyes roll to the back of my head.


End file.
